3 Reasons Why Your Siamese Cat Is Not Affectionate – How to Fix it?

bored siamese cat

Siamese cats are among the most affectionate and loving felines. They imprint intensely on their humans and dread every separation. However, the breed can sometimes seem distant for various reasons.

What If Your Siamese Cat Is Not Affectionate?

Your Siamese cat is not affectionate because they’re bored or anxious. The lack of affection in these cats may also be caused by a sickness known as hyperesthesia Syndrome. Siamese cats are genetically predisposed to this condition.

This article examines these possible causes, notes the unique ways Siamese cats show love, and suggests ways to improve your relationship with your feline friend. 

Reasons Your Siamese Cat Isn’t Affectionate

Siamese cats are naturally loving. However, they are also potentially aggressive.

Various circumstances and conditions make Siamese kitties either cold and withholding or aggressive and irate. Let’s have a look at what those circumstances are;

Why is your siamese cat not affectionate
There are reasons why your Siamese cat is not affectionate, which can be fixed.

1. Your Cat Is Bored

Siamese cats are almost always bursting with energy that needs to be expelled. Kittens, in particular, are hyperactive by nature.

Without an outlet for their playful spirit, your feline friend may become aggressive and irritable. You must tire your cat out with adequate playtime if you want them to cuddle.

Apart from helping to burn excess energy by active play, this also forms or enhances the bond between you and your Siamese. This is essential since Siamese cats thrive on human contact and interaction.

2. Your Cat Has Anxiety

Siamese cats have high baseline anxiety levels that are exacerbated by periods of separation. This cat breed thrives on human connection. If kept isolated, these felines withdraw, stop eating and become anxious and unpleasant.

While you obviously can’t be with your kitty 24-7, maintaining a routine of interaction helps manage your cat’s anxiety. Ensure they have lots of available toys while you’re away. Also, provide activities and distractions to keep their minds off the fact that you’re gone.

Adopting a second cat can also help ease your furry friend’s anxiety. It provides your Siamese with a playmate, so don’t hesitate to do it if you have the time, space, and means.

If your cat already has anxiety, simply giving it company may not put them at ease. Luckily, there are several natural remedies available to relieve anxious kitties, including:

  • Valerian 
  • Chamomile
  • Calming herbs
  • Bach Flower Remedies
  • Catnip
  • Pheromone spray
  • Calming treats

Have a look at Amazon’s selection of (natural) calming herbs for anxious cats. We had very positive results calming down our Russian Blue cat during fireworks on the 4th of July with those.

3. Your Cat Has Hyperesthesia Syndrome

Hyperesthesia Syndrome, also called Twitch-skin Syndrome, is a condition that makes a cat’s skin extremely sensitive. Every touch, however light, is painful to a cat with this condition, which may curb a feline’s desire for cuddles.

Siamese cats are genetically predisposed to contracting Hyperesthesia Syndrome, so keep your eyes peeled for these additional symptoms:

  • Dilated pupils
  • Chasing their tails
  • Lethargy
  • Excessively biting their lower backs, rear paws, and tail
  • More meowing than normal
  • Lower back skin twitching
Signs that your cat is bored.

How Siamese Cats Show Love

Your feline friend can’t tell you they love you with words. However, as the adage says, their actions speak louder than their words (or lack thereof). 

It’s possible your cat is affectionate, but not in the ways you’ve come to expect. Recognizing how a Siamese cat shows love can reassure you of your fuzzy friend’s affection.

Here’s a rundown of the various ways Siamese cats show affection:

Suggested reading: 15 Incredible Ways That Cats Show Affection for Humans


Purring is the universal cat language. The low vibrations indicate hunger, calmness, and even an attempt to self-medicate. Purring is the first mode of communication cats learn. Kittens purr at their mothers, who echo the noise to soothe their offspring.

Paired with a relaxed posture, purring expresses your fuzzy friend’s fondness for you. When your cat purrs near you or while petting them, they let you know they love you.

Slow Blinking

Cats are naturally suspicious creatures with severe trust issues. Even a domesticated house cat has predator DNA and keeps its eyes wide open. When a cat blinks at you, they are demonstrating trust. It’s their way of showing that they don’t need to be on guard around you.

Showing Their Tummy

There’s very little softer and more inviting than a cat’s belly. Seeing that little tummy displayed may tempt you to pet it. Don’t give in. It’s a trap! 

Cats are vulnerable when they’re on their backs. A cat willingly assuming that position and maintaining eye contact delivers a message: I trust you and know you won’t harm me. 

That said, a display of trust is not an invitation to pet your cat. Resist the urge to rub that tummy unless you don’t particularly value your skin.

Rubbing Their Cheek Against You

Cats have glands in their cheeks that secret a pleasant, reassuring smell. Your feline friend rubs their face against things they like and trust to mark them as friendly.

Your kitty rubbing their cheek against you is basically them tagging you as a friend. Cats are much more amenable to being picked up and snuggled after they’ve scented you.

Head Butting

Your cat isn’t trying to start a fight with you. The head butt is a kitty equivalent of a human fist bump; it’s their way of telling you that they view you as one of their pack.

The head butt is another way your cat transfers their scent onto you. It can also be a way to seek your attention, so don’t hesitate to give them a nice scratch on their head or chin when they do that.


Cats clean their kittens by licking them. However, licking isn’t just for grooming purposes; it’s also a mother’s way of bonding with their kittens and showing affection.

But when your cat licks you, they’re not mistaken you for their progeny: they express affection the way it was conveyed to them in their kittenhood.

Shadowing You

Your cat may not express their love physically, but if they demonstrate a desire to be forever in your presence, they tell you they appreciate you.

They don’t want to be separated from you; that’s why they sometimes follow you throughout the house.

Siamese cats want to be near you without necessarily touching you. Your kitty following you is a more significant indicator of their love than hopping on your lap.

Talking to You

Siamese cats are exceptionally verbal. These super chatty felines may chirp and meow at you incessantly to let you know you’re their favorite human.

However, that’s not the only thing they’re “saying.” Siamese cats also voice their complaints vocally, so pay attention to changes in their tone and act fast if these are accompanied by other variations in their character.

Siamese cats are usually very talkative

Playing With You

Unlike many cats who spend their days sleeping and eating, Siamese kitties are incredibly playful. Your feline friend is full of vim and vigor; they need to burn through some excess energy. 

However, cats only want to play with people they like. So if your Siamese expresses a desire to romp around with you, they’re telling you they love you.

How To Win Over Your Siamese Cat

Don’t be despondent because your kitty’s ignoring you. Siamese cats are warm and loving; they crave human interaction and contact. Putting in a little effort will rekindle your cat’s naturally affectionate nature.

These suggestions will make your cat snuggly in no time:

Keep Your Cat Busy

Bored Siamese cats are aggressive, irritable, and more likely to develop anxiety. An inactive Siamese withdraws and becomes distant from humans. Keeping your cat entertained alleviates the possibility of boredom-related ennui.

Fortunately, many options exist for pet owners to engage their furry charges:

Provide Plenty of Toys

Siamese cats are very clever. They’re drawn to interactive toys that react to play. Provide your kitty with various balls, reactive mice, and critters that squeak or jangle. 

Siamese cats are full of vim, so they need toys that keep up with them. Avoid toys that simply look cute or lay flat.

Here are a few excellent options available at Amazon.com:

  • Bergan Turbo Scratcher Cat Toy: Comes with an interactive rolling ball that keeps your cat both mentally and physically stimulated. It’s also a great way to give your cat an outlet for their urge to scratch, so they don’t take it out on your furniture and other household items.
  • PetFusion Ambush Interactive Electronic Cat Toy: A great toy for stimulating your cat’s predatory instincts. It comes with “prey” that quickly pops out at random positions to keep your cat agile and engaged by mimicking hunting scenarios.

Fun With Food

Treats are potent motivators. Puzzle toys allow your kitty to work for their reward and tire themselves out. There are many great puzzle feeders on the market. 

Some of our favorites include:

  • PetSafe Slimcat Feeder Ball: This toy is a great way to add exercise to mealtime; it forces your cat to chase it to get food. The best part is that you can adjust the openings for your cat’s kibble size and dictate the rate at which they get their food. Also, it’s dishwasher safe, making cleaning a breeze.
  • Trixie Brain Mover: This toy is all about versatility. It comes with four modules that you can use to instill different skills in your cat, as well as a handbook for tips and tricks you can use for cats of all ages.
  • Lickimat Felix: This feeder is a great way to make your cat feel like they’re eating wild-caught meat. It has compartments where you place the food and let your furry friend leverage their predatory instincts to “pick the meat from the bones.” 

All of the above feeders are available through Amazon.com. If you prefer not to spend money on a feeder, simply hiding your cat’s food throughout the house creates a fun scavenger hunt to complete.

Cardboard Boxes

Cardboard boxes are a free and easy way to keep your cat happy and engaged. Anyone who’s ever unboxed their holiday gift haul around their kitties knows that felines adore cardboard boxes. Climbing inside and batting the parcels around provides hours of entertainment for cats.

Most of us have plenty of these boxes around the house. Most grocery stores provide cardboard boxes on request for those who don’t chronically shop online. 

Feline Furniture

Yes, buying furniture for a cat may seem silly and indulgent. However, these homey accessories give your Siamese a sense of ownership and comfort. They also give your cat a way to climb, scratch, and jump to their heart’s content without damaging your favorite couch. 

Most cat furniture designs are interactive. Unlike your favorite recliner, cat trees and towers aren’t simply for sitting. Cats scale the towers and play on their surfaces. 

A Window Seat

Make sure your Siamese cat has unfettered access to a window view. Felines love to watch the outdoors. Perhaps watching nature reminds them of their predatory evolution. 

Whatever the reason, observing wildlife and the outside world stimulates cats and keeps them engaged and active. Siamese cats are naturally inquisitive. A window view piques their curiosity and stimulates their minds.

Multimedia Distractions

Radio and television provide human voices and presence for kittens. Talk radio may give solace to lonesome Siamese cats while their human friends are away. If you’re comfortable leaving a television, computer, or iPad unattended, several Youtube channels are explicitly created for cats. 

These videos include wildlife, nature scenes, and soothing music. They range in length, allowing you to select longer videos for more significant amounts of engagement or brief scenes for when you need a quick distraction. 

Some of our favorite Youtube channels for cat entertainment include:

Here’s an example of a video your cat might enjoy watching.

Most cats find this fascinating, don’t forget to turn up the sound as well.

Get Your Cat a Friend

Siamese cats are incredibly social. Your kitty experiences intense separation anxiety when you go to work or have drinks with friends. Bringing a second fuzzy friend into the house provides your Siamese with a companion to distract from their loneliness. 

The Siamese breed is exceptionally social and gets along well with most other cats. However, they are most amenable to the following:

  • Maine Coon
  • Ragdoll
  • Birman
  • Exotic Shorthair 
  • Siberian
  • Persian
  • Abyssinian 

While Siamese cats get along with other breeds, keep in mind that kitties need to be acclimated to each other.

Be prepared to commit the appropriate time to the process. Your Siamese may become possessive of you and jealous of the interloper. Just ensure each cat has their own space and possessions. 

To read more about what other cats (and dogs!) make good companions for your Siamese cat, have a look at our post here.

Make Eye Contact

The eyes are the windows to the soul for cats as well as humans. You lack a commonly spoken language, but prolonged eye contact allows you to communicate.

Like your kitty uses staring and slow blinks to show you love, staring into your cat’s eyes tells them they can trust you.

Wait until your Siamese is calm and relaxed. Meet them where they are by lying next to them. Once you’ve established eye contact, blink slowly. When your cat breaks the bond, you know they trust you and view you as safe. 

Train Your Cat

Teaching your cat tricks builds a solid relationship between the two of you. Training takes time and considerable positive reinforcement. Siamese cats love spending time with their human friends.

They are also very clever. Learning tricks together allows your kitty to engage with you while stimulating their considerable intellect. 

Additionally, training allows you to provide a fundamental need. As your cat masters a stick, offer them treats. These rewards endear you to your cat and establish you as a food provider. 

Our Final Thoughts

Siamese cats are extremely sweet and loving creatures. If they seem distant and cold, consider the factors making them aggressive. Once you’ve diagnosed your cat, you can work to build a rapport. 

Remember, cats express love and affection in different ways than humans do. Your cat may be telling you they love you without you hearing it, so look for signs of affection before concluding that they’re distant.

If your cat is distant, all hope is not lost; there are a couple of reliable methods you can use to build your relationship.

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